Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman ponder their future. (Relativity Media)
Having seen ‘Season of the Witch,’ starring Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, and Claire Foy (as the titular witch), all I can say is: “Ouch!”
Actually, I had a few more things to say, which I wrote in my review for Twitch Film, beginning thusly:
“Some movies are ‘so bad they’re good’ — and then there are the lumbering, ungainly monstrosities that are the films of Dominic Sena. Like a near-sighted brontosaurus whose legs have been broken, SEASON OF THE WITCH joins GONE IN 60 SECONDS and SWORDFISH and WHITEOUT as standard bearers for a certain kind of action picture — the kind of low-grade mediocrity that consistently falls short of even the lowest of expectations.”
Assorted rambling mutterings ensue at Twitch.
If you’re still inclined to check it out, either because you like to make up your own mind, or don’t trust me, or have cash you don’t need, or a girlfriend / boyfriend (or parental unit) who loooooooves Nicolas Cage, it’s playing at every theater in town. Or, at least, practically every multiplex in the Metroplex.
Via Google: Theaters and Showtimes for ‘Season of the Witch.’
Nicolas Cage and Jay Baruchel in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice'
Falling into the vast middle ground between ‘OK’ and ‘not bad,’ The Sorcerer’s Apprentice provides plenty of whiz without much bang.
Oh, sure, many things go “Blam!” and other things go “Kablooey!” Hundreds, if not thousands, of objects fly through the air with the greatest of ease, and the heroic Nicolas Cage (as ages-old Balthazar) and the villainous Alfred Molina (as former compatriot Horvath) stare intensely at one another as though they were angry, and move their arms with great drama and emotion. The hesitant Jay Baruchel (as the diffident Dave) gets in the spirit too, only in his case it’s more akin to squinting and aimless gesticulating with inordinate uncertainty.
Yet The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is only fitfully engaging. Two or three moments soar toward the stratosphere — such as when college student Dave makes Tesla electrical arcs dance to modern music, to the delight of his long-time crush Becky (Teresa Palmer) — but succeeding scenes let the air out of the balloon, and there are too few of such moments to prop up the generally lackluster pace. It’s not a horrible movie, but it is routine and unexceptional.